When Grandparents Become the Childcare Safety Net America Won't Provide

What Happened

Stacia Bourne, a psychology professor in Maryland, faced a choice that millions of American parents confront: have a second child, or keep your finances intact. When childcare for her first son cost roughly what her mortgage did, the math was brutal. So her mother, Mary Jo Galusha, a retired schoolteacher in Idaho, made an offer. She'd quit her job, leave her home, and move across the country to provide free childcare. Galusha packed her belongings and drove east. She now watches her grandson 30 hours a week while Bourne and her husband work.

This isn't a heartwarming human-interest story. It's a sign of systemic failure. And it's happening to millions of families.

What It Means for You

According to Child Care Aware of America, the average annual cost of childcare for children under 5 in the U.S. in 2025 was $13,184 per child. That's higher than in-state college tuition at most public universities. For a family with two young kids, you're looking at $26,000 a year before taxes, often more than a second parent earns in many states, which means one parent leaves the workforce entirely.

Here's what that means in practice: you either spend a third of your income on childcare, pull a grandparent out of retirement, or one parent stops working. There is no fourth option in most of America. You don't have a choice between quality daycare and a home-based provider. You have a choice between crippling debt and relying on family members, often older relatives who should be enjoying their retirement or managing health issues.

The NPR report notes that Nicole Jorwic, chief program officer at Caring Across Generations, put it plainly: "Because this country hasn't invested in a childcare infrastructure that is flexible and affordable and reliable, grandparents are filling in the gaps that the service system leaves behind."

This hits hardest at people with the least room to absorb the cost. A family earning $60,000 a year with two kids in childcare is spending 43% of their income on care. For families earning $100,000, it's 26%. For families earning $200,000, it's 13%. The system redistributes money upward by forcing lower-income families out of the workforce or into unsustainable debt.

The Bigger Picture

The surge in dual-income households is real. According to Pew Research Center, 52% of different-sex couples with kids had both parents working full-time in 2025, compared with just 31% in 1975. Women's participation in the workforce expanded dramatically, economically necessary for most families, not optional. But America never built the infrastructure to support it.

Instead, we've created a patchwork of private, for-profit childcare centers, informal care arrangements, and family desperation. The result: 51% of Americans live in a childcare desert, according to CGP's childcare policy position. That means no licensed childcare facilities within reasonable distance. In those areas, grandparents, if they exist and are able, become the only option.

This isn't new, but the scale and necessity have changed. What was once occasional support from extended family has become a lifeline for families that can't afford the market rate. And it's not free, it just externalizes the cost onto older adults who often have their own health challenges, financial limitations, and plans for their later years.

Galusha's story is touching precisely because it's unusual. Most grandparents can't afford to relocate. Most are managing their own health care, their own retirement, or caring for aging parents themselves. The families who can't access Galusha's generosity are the ones hit hardest.

Where This Goes

The Common Good Party's childcare policy recognizes this crisis clearly: childcare costs $13,128 a year per child, more than college tuition in 33 states, and that's unsustainable. The CGP proposal caps childcare costs at a percentage of family income (following the Swedish model, where childcare is capped at 1–3% of income) and funds a universal system through progressive taxation. This isn't about forcing parents into state care; it's about making affordable options available so families aren't forced to choose between having children and financial stability.

The alternative is what we're seeing now: a slow-motion withdrawal of women from the workforce, aging parents forced back into the labor market to help grandchildren, and families whose ability to grow depends on their parents' willingness to sacrifice. That's not a family-friendly country. It's a country that's chosen to let private markets set the rules and let families absorb whatever costs result.

Galusha's move saved her daughter's family from an impossible choice. But that's not a solution to a national problem. It's proof the problem exists.